Mr. Green's comm unit squawks loudly. He glances at the readout, does a doubletake, and then jumps from his chair, fumbles his comm open, puts it to his ear, turns his back on the growing crowd of infrared scum, collects himself, and then speaks into it in a calm, controlled, voice.
"Yes sir?"
"Well, I-"
"But we-"
"Sir, we only-"
"Yes, I understand, Sir."
"Sir, for your information, we only have five new recruits so far..."
"No Sir!"
"Yes Sir!"
"But of course!"
Mr. Green closes his comm unit, spins back around, and glares at all the troubleshooter wannabes that are filling his enrollment center.
"Alright, I just got a call from my commanding officer, who has violet clearance. The situation in his area has become critical, and he needs a team down there YESTERDAY. So here's what I'm going to do; I'm going to give all of you the briefing on the mission. Everyone who has their paperwork in order will receive Red Clearance, their equipment, and Mandatory Bonus Duty, and be sent out onto the field. Anyone else who finishes their paperwork in a timely manner will join them shortly."

Mr Green pulls a file from his desk. "What details we have collected so far are vague, but it seems a Secret Society known only as the 'Smooth Operators' have created a technological abomination, something that seeks to subvert Our Friend The Computer. What exactly this device is and does is unanswered. Your mission is to infiltrate the building where they are camped and find this device. If you manage to find out what the device does, what these 'Smooth Operators' stand for, or bring the device back here to me, Friend Computer would greatly appreciate it. If this is impossible, destroy the device."

Mr. Green places the file back on his desk, then hauls out a large box of equipment. "Alright, let us see here... Everyone who has finished their paperwork have been assigned Red Reflec Armor, a Red MarkI Popgun, a MarkI Comm Unit, and a Utility belt with pouches." Mr. Green passes this equipment out.
"Now, each of you have been assigned a Mandatory Bonus Duty, which comes with specialized equipment. Mr. Gustaf 'SlaYo' LaFleur, since you were the first to respond, you are our group's Team Leader! Your specialized equipment is a shiny 'Team Leader' badge, and a Red MarkII Popgun, which is cutting edge technology!" Mr. Green tosses Gustaf the badge, and then gingerly removes the MarkII Popgun from the equipment box and gently hands it to Gustaf.
"Mr. Mercury 'Dalspots' Nanite, your cheerfulness was evident when you first walked into the room. For this, you are named this team's Happiness Officer. Remember, Happiness is mandatory. I do not have any specialized equipment for you, but you should be quite happy with that."
"Torkell, you obviously have a great sense of loyalty, and thus I assign you Loyalty Officer. You are to be the only one of your team to speak with Friend Computer, barring emergencies and your absence."
"Troglobite, you seem like the strong, silent type, so you are assigned Equipment Guy. You get this red duffel bag. It is empty now, but should be full upon your return."
"Plunk, Friend Computer thanks you for taking your assigned dose of hallucinogens, but you have no pet, nor have you ever had a pet. Also, you have been assigned Hygiene Officer, take this box of tissues. You will need them before the end."

Mr. Green settles himself into his chair, and speaks dismissively. "The Infrared Public Transportation Shuttle to sector EPS-95 should be arriving just outside this building in a few minutes (~48-72 hours), so you have until then to acquaint yourself with your new equipment and meet the rest of your team before you leave."
Mr. Green immediately returns to shuffling paperwork.


(AUTHOR NOTE: anything you say in this thread will treated as being in-character. If you have a little to say out of character (such as questions for me or clarifications), append it to your post, formatted like this note. If everyone has a lot to say out of character, I'll start a new thread.
Also, if you send a PM to anyone about paranoia, post here, saying something about whispering in someone's ear or fiddling with your comm unit. If I send you a PM, I'll post and say your comm unit squawked.
Last, time is a bit weird in a forum setting, so when I refer to time, I'll refer to it both in character "a couple of minutes" and out of character (~48-72 HOURS).)