Kovu.... wandered around a bit. after all the ups and downs of the last few posts he was rather dizzy..he seemed to be falling quickly. Then he sort of fell ONto something, and he bounced some, down into a large patch of lettuce. A light cam from a corner. Kove grapped some lettuce to eat and stepped towards it, carrying his jewels. "Alantrium?" he yelled worriedly. But then, as his eyes adjusted,he discovered the toilet was just a secret passage to the wine cellars which had been occupied by Claw moments before. Kove went up to the light found a still-drunk Alantrium trapped in an insane disco with Blackie. He screeched loudly as he was flung around. There were some strange bananas in the corner at the time, Kovu recalled later for the police.

Claw skulked around the corner of the castle that had come from nowhere. Suddenly he drew back in surprise; this wasn't a castle at all! It was a plywood front made for someone's bright green house. He stole back to the 'Tavern in a towering rage, pausing to consider biting someone else but remembered the fur in his mouth. He settled with eating a stale donut which crunched satisfyingly.

Ducky watched the disco. Blackie, at least, was having fun, even if Al wasn't. She took a sip of her drink and was flung across the room off her chair with Kovu at her back; he had savagely been the nearest person to Claw who was still steaming about the castle. They crashed into the wall. "Um, Kove....Kovu?" Ducky pinched the dangling brown ear in front of her. "Kove? Are you getting up?My drink is spilled...." Kovu bargained. "Get me a drink and I'll get up."

"You have to get up first."

"Then I'm not doing it."

Besides, his back hurt where Claw had whacked him. Why should he get up?

The man of the moment, Claw, now relaxed a bit and slightly drunk from the donut chatted amiably with Batty.



The Titans, outside with their sherry roared and laughed hopelessly. One of them rolled into the girl, and her crown slipped off her head. "Heeeheee, guess whaaat?" The titan glanced at him. "Wha--"

Inside the 'Tavern, everyone heard the sound of inevitability..



(Post by Duckster)

A neigh outside alerted Ducky. Then a big grey horse broke the door down. "Hey! I liked that door! Whaddaya do that for?" Asked Ducky. The grey rabbit on the horse's back shrugged and jumped down. "I didn't do it," she smiled. Then she went into the Tavern and ordered a drink.



(Post by Coppertop)

The possibilities of drunken insanity...



"Pickle!" Claw screamed, the affects of

the unusually high alcohal content of doughnuts. (Ducky thought of it, blame her!)

No one minded much, though, as they were all thouroughly drunk.

"Gimme a pickle, or the horse gets it!" Claw snached the horse that had wandered into

the Tavern.

"NEEEEEEEE!" Was the most intelligble thing from the horse. Across the Tavern, Ducky

was attempting to carry on a conversation with...a wall.

"Y'know...sherry...I think that all this...sherry...is imparing my brain...sherry...y'know? Sherry,

sherry, sherry, sherry, sherry."

"I don't know 'bout that, Ducky." Returned the wall.

BBoy was standing, curiosly outside, in the newly born night, staring scrutinizly at

the stars.

"Yea...I'm watchin' you, n' don't make any sudden movements.......Eh! Polaris! Sit back

down!"

And then, for no reason at all, Batty threw himself at a giant vat of butter. Not that

there were any giant vats of butter in the

Tavern, for Batty had no idea where he wandered to.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"

"I'm not getting up. Nope, ain't doing it. The universe could be collapsing around me

and I STILL wouldn't get up!" Kovu drawled

on...



(Post by Kovu aka Alec)

Batty found that it was not butter he'd flung himself into, but the door that led to the cellar downstairs. The door he'd hit, broke open, and he went tumbling down the steps. "Oof! Ouch! Oog! Augh! Urk! Gwoof!" SPLAT!!! He hit the bottom. He pulled his face from the floor with one hand, and looked up. There in front of him was all the wine he could ever dream of. "YIPPEEEE!!!! WE'VE HIT THE JACKPOT BOYS!!! I'VE FOUND GOLD!!!!!!" He started chugging the wine.



"HEY! I see that!" BBoy yelled at a shooting star. "'Don't move' I said!" BBoy pointed to another shooting star and yelled, "Hey! You, Shooting star! Drop that gun. Just because your a shooting star, doesn't mean you get any weapons to shoot!" BBoy suddenly tripped over a tree root, and started stumbling around to keep his balance. He stumbled into the tavern and bumped into Ducky, who was still trying to talk to the wall. "Hey!" Ducky yelled at him. "No butting in! Can't you see I'm talking!?" BBoy looked at the wall confused. "You're talking to a wall???" He asked her. She yelled, "I said don't interrupt me!" "No you didn't. You said don't butt in." "I know what I said. Don't correct me!" "I'll correct you if I want." BBoy said back. Claw grabbed BBoy and spun him around, saying, "Hey. Don't fight with her!" Then he threw BBoy down the stairs to the cellar. "Oof! Ouch! Oog! Augh! Urk! Gwoof!" SPLAT!!! He hit the bottom. He got up and saw Batty. His stomach was bigger than usual. "*Hic!* Here. You c'n have the rist. *Hic!* I mean rest." Then Batty staggered up the stairs drunker than ever. He'd drinken four large barrels of wine. "Wow, gee thanks!" BBoy started chugging the wine.



(Post by BBoy)

the dark hallways were lined with the generally stereotypical signs of evil. Pentagrams, goat skulls, skeletons, and (gasp) sunflower seeds... I shivered at the thought of what pure evil they must bring...



I was sort of surprised that a castle of such demonic means didn't have ghost flying around or undead skeleton guards.

It all seemd a bit too easy so I flipped out my "super-dooper-pooper-skooper" and prepared for whatever may lurk in the dark corridors ahead.



(Post by FreeLance57)

Kazooie just slowly backed away... these guys were alcoholics.

"'ey... howsabouta drink..." BBoy swayed over to him falling.

"I gotta get outta here before I get drunk," Kazooie said walked away to find intelligent life.

The halls were evil! An aura of pure darkness floated through them, surely this must be the source of some evil, some power, something worth exploring. "YaY! Something other than beer!" the crazed bird yelled and ran down the hall.



(Post by Kazooie)

My SDPS-5.7 was locked and loaded and ready to fire. I continued walking along, a nagging hangover type headache bitting at the base of my skull. (gasp) it wasn't a headache! It was a rat! My eyes popped open. How long had I been asleep on the floor of the demonic castle? Days? Hours? Minutes? Seconds? Years? Months?



(Post by Alantriam)

As mentoind before, Kazzoie the crazed bird ran down the hal. At least he would have if the hall had actully been there. You see, Kazooie had accidently gotten drunk from the fumes and had imagined evil, a hall etc... There fore, what he thought was a hall was actully steps which led down into the celler. Curious, everyone drunk at the moment followed...



(Post by Unknown Rabbit)

Claw rubbed his head, a strong hangover from the drugged donut soon developed. His left hand had his claws extended under the neck of a big ol' horse. Coppertop stood before him, arms crossed, obviously not pleased at all.

"You mine not holding my horse hostage?" she asked as she tilted her head.

"Yeah, no prob," muttered Claw as he backed away from Ironheart and tried to regain as much dignity as possible.

"This is insane, first it's titans, then it's UFOs and fake castles and now poisonous donuts! I'm outta here!" Claw exclaimed as he turned around and promptly ran into a wall, sending Claw into a mad, frustrated rage only anttainable by those who are not used to such... absurdeness



(Post by Claw)

sis... ure... chrome... ux...



that's what Kazooie kept hearing, he was drunk from the fumes but something else was messing around with this story. The setting was changing too fast. What he wouldn't give for a floor that would stay idle.

"Oi nead a digital picture Sammy gurl!" Kazooie managed to say from second hand drinking. A sort of green visor appeared out of nowhere giving information about the castle and it's active walls.

"Stop ya toying with those fancy glasses and just have a drink," BBoy suggested. No, he couldn't, something wasn't right. First we were in the tavern, then a ship, then a grass land, then a castle, then back into a tavern and wine mine.

"Let's take a looksie," Kaz mumbled to himself, " Titanium alloy, plastic, aluminum, states of flux, bombs, guns, stone, wood, everything checks in." For the time being everything seemed fine, just dandy... ...



The kiwala was laughing.



(Post by Kazooie)

I checked my SDPS, everything was right. I checked my watch. I had been out of it for about ten minutes. I was still in the castle. The walls seemed to close in on me, then pop back to normal.



I could hear laughter above me and drunk screams. I looked behind me, and the hall kept going behind me as far as it did in front of me. I knew I hadn't travelled that far.



The floor above me opened up in an almost biomechanical way and I could see people drinking and eating above me. It was the Tavern. I jumped up and grabbed the edge of the hole, lifting myself up into the big smoke filled room.



"Alantriam...where've you been?" it was FreeLance, my other half.



"Like you don't know. You're the one writing me."



(Post by Alantriam)

Suddenly a comet hit right next to the War Tavern! Nobody noticed, of course.

(Not exciting enough, hmmm.......)

Suddenly Kazooie blew up the moon with some help with Cheeze!

(No....)

Suddenly Ducky ate Tweety!

(Oops! Wrong topic!)

Alantrium looked around the War Tavern. He was bored. Freelance walked up to the Bar and ordered a Rock. The bartender, not being there at the moment, handed Alantrium a small pebble. Freelance ate it and shot the door off. BBoy got mad, had a drink and fell to the ground, unconscious. Alantrium went to the cellar, got a big tub of beer and poured it over the upstair part of the War Tavern. Everyone cheereed Freelance.







_________________

Tell me how to make the Jazz Boss that

was used in SXR for my "Easter Eggs"

level in my Carrotus episode. I cannot

finish the episode without the level!

?*confused*?



*sigh* I would put something here but *sigh* I ruin everything it seems...



Go ask Tubbs if you would like his input. I am not a merrymaker like he is.



(I think he wanted to say something but..)

"Get away from that vat!" Ducky swatted FL and tried to shoo everyone away, which did NOT work.

"This job shoulda come with a good stick!" she grumbled and left them to thier own devices.

As they fought over the carrot beer, a thin body clutching a crooked dagger lurked behind them.

Coppertop lurked in the shadows, one paw on her sword. She did not trust some of these ppl, especially the undrunks. Batty flapped by, moaning something about a headache, while Kovu sat outside chattering away with the Titans. BBoy was on the floor, grinning stupidly and staring at everyone. Kazooie slumped on the counter, and one of his pals shook him and muttered. "Kash, we havnt finished thish bottle yet," he slurred, then abruptly colappsed beside the bird. Copper shook her head exasperatedly. Claw walked by, about to hit a stool, and she deftly rescued the furniture from his claws. She wouldn't want to be standing in front of him when his hangover really hit; there'd be a mass murder. She sighed and moved to the back of the crowd, and that was when she saw the strange creature. . .

It was Elias. The reason for his dagger was not obvious at all, he looked around, the place was full of drunks. He planned to join them. He had lost the thing most precious to him, his amulet. Oh, there it was! On the floor! Silly Elias. Elias, relived, walked up to the bar and ordered a carrot on the rocks with cream. Admael gave it to him and held out her paw for the cash. Elias looked at her, looked surprised and said: "Hey babe!"



P.S. No, I am not Elias. I'm just a big fan of him and Cheeze, they are cool.



P.P.S. I like to edit my messages.

Um, let me try to make sense of this in my own mind before I attempt to reply. Uhhh...I hope you didn't mean that thing to be someone in particular...Blackie..



Kovu chattred innocently with the Titans, they unaware that he was the possesor of their coveted jewels. Batty and Bboy were still cowering under the counter, no doubt devising an evil conspiracy in their drunken minds.

Lancie and Alantriam, followed closely by Claw argued their way around the Tavern.



CT and BlackSheep saw the strange figure at the same time, a thin old fox was huddled at the corner of the 'Tavern. He had long, dark grey hair and wore a cloak that hung loosely on his weak frame. He was holding a crooked dagger which he swiveled nervously from paw to paw. Ducky leaned over to see what Blackie was looking at and toppled over the counter, having squeezed out from under Kovu. "Ow! Hey, who's that?" The fox turned his misty eyes on her. Ducky was nervous under his stare. "Hey, y' want a drink?" she asked hesitantly. "I'll get you a carrot coffee on the house..." Her voice trailed off. The fox regarded her, then scuttled past her, still not speaking. He moved quickly, sat down next to Elias and stuck his knife into the table. Ducky poured him a drink and his odd eyes took in the Tavern. He drew out a piece of paper and a pen. Writing in thin spidery cursive, Blackie read over his shoulder. "My name is Xavier.." "His name is Xavier, Ducky," said BlackSheep loudly. Ducky looked over from her perking coffee. "Hi Xavier," she said, trying to sound casual. "Don't you talk?" The fox fixed her with his pale stare, but transferred it down to the page and began writing in script on the other side. "I left from Medivo three years ago..." he wrote.



Well, sorry...

`Ducky

So now there are TWO figures in the Tavern with daggers?

Looks like it

Maybe we should throw out the fox? I mean,

"The next chapter of the War Tavern" is supposed to be

the epic scary one. Isn't "War stories, continued" supposed

to be a lot of humorous insanity? Like the first part of the

second post of the second page:



"PICKLE!" Screamed Claw.



(Not an exact reproduction)

Tubbs started to say something but he gave up halfway. I'm very sorry about this.



And Melissa, she's not registered. Although she does giggle a lot.



I give up. I can't think of anything to say. Sorry.

You are supposed to have twisty plots, they always get cleared up in some stupid way that could never work. I just didn't see that other post about Elias.

:P

Sorry.

`Ducky

I have no sense of humor.

hahaha

Geez, what Kaz said.

`Ducky

Geez, what Kaz said.

`Ducky

Here's one by Melissa, a six-year-old:



Tubbs and Melissa jumped off the plane while it was taking off. "Hey, this is fun!" Tubbs said.



"That was dumb," complained Melissa, as she fell through the air. "You should stop falling off cliffs, hanging from trees, and jumping out windows. I have a bad feeling about this."



Yup. They both looked down and saw that they were going to fall through the roof of War Tavern.



"Yo!" shouted Kiku, who was standing on the ground. "Why don't you fall on Epic's building instead?"



"Sure!" replied Tubbs. "After I fall on War Tavern, we can start by going on the curb. Then we can hop on cars that pass by at high speeds."





Sounds stupid enough? I hope so!

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" shouted Melissa as her and Tubbs fell through the air towards the War Tavern. Inside it, Admael was chasing Elias in a circle with an enchanted broom and Xavier was still writing. "They kicked me out because I was a fox, the other reason that I watched Cannibal Feud on the only TV all the time. I flew away to the War Tavern, where I wished to seek hei___ . ... ." The roof broke to make a change from the door and Tubbs and Melissa both landed on Xavier, squashing him.

Nobody in the Tavern seemed very peturbed by this, going back to whatever they had been doing at the time. Melissa was kicked out for being underage and Elias went flying out the door from a whack with the magical broom. Tubbs, bored, jumped on to the bar and started tap-dancing.

Kiku looked over at Tubbs and said, "Tubbs, since when did you start knowing how to tapdance!?" "Huh?" Tubbs looked up for a moment, then tripped over his own feet and fell off the counter onto his face. "Are you all right?" BBoy asked. "Oh, he's fine. He always falls like that. Most the time, it's on purpouse. He likes it." Kiku replied. "Yeah," Tubbs said, getting off the floor, and putting his bent nose back in place. "It's fun." Suddenly, out of the hole in the roof, a brown possum fell onto the counter. "Hello 'yall!" A dog followed him. "Could I get a drink, do ya think?" "Who are you!? *Hic!*" BBoy asked. "The names Skitch. I'm from another video game." The possum replied. "Video game!?" BBoy said. "Yeah. It isn't finished yet though, and I was bored, so I thought I'd come here. So... Could I get a drink???" The possum hopped down to the floor. His dog followed.

I gave the possum a drink. I was beginning to expect all manner of weird things after Xavier and the stuff that was happening, so a li'l possum visiting from another forum didn't bother me. This rabbit tap dancing on the counter did, though. He wasn't even doing it right. I slapped a glass of Braggarian Goo in his hand in hopes that he would sit down and go tell a story of bravery, or at least get off my counter.

It didn't work.

Drastic times called for drastic measures, and I seized the dusty flyswatter from off the wall beside the cup racks and started laying about with it.



Meantimes,

Kove still babbled with the Titans. He had discreetly passed his gems to his accomplice, unbeknownst to him that the accomplice had no idea of giving them back.



The rest of the Kiku fam seemed to have assembled over a large fondu pot in the center of a table. The were stabbing rather lethally with their fondu forks, as the oil lamp in their corner was empty. They awwaited the company of their brother who seemed content to lie on my counter.



The Unknown and Bboy and the rest of the flocks had settled down at the arcade games in the corner, and Lancielot and his alternate self Alantriam were glowering at each other over stiff drinks in one of the brightest dark corners.

The jukebox was playing a danceable song, some of the rabbits were dancing now, some unknown couples sort of slithered in and melted into the crowd on the floor.

The fox decided no one cared what happened to him, stuck his G'bye message of the board and dissapated. No one really missed him. He had been intresting while he lasted, but he didn't talk enough.

Some drunks toppled to the floor from a nearby table. I wiped out a glass and handed it to NightFire. "I'm going to go have afew drinks with Blackie," I said, "Take over." I poured us some frothy pale purple Tsrainian catinae juice and wobbled over to Blackie. "Hey!" I said, flopping down, "Brought you a drink! Want a gome of killer? Lets see if we can get Kove and the rest t' play!"

Black chugged her drink and immediately brightened.

I sipped mine, with foreign beverages it is best to be careful.





Oops, that was too long.

`Ducky

Slightly weird things that make no difference here:

1. Xavier gets squashed then leaves.

2. Melissa gets kicked out and comes back in.

3. Unknown... Wait, I DID say I was a regular now in "The Next Chapter of the War Tavern", didn't I? Unless we're using the war flashack...

Story part that shouldn't make much sense:



Kovu, while sitting with the titans that had been there since the story began, was sitting in a leather couch. "Where did that couch come from?" asked Tubbs, looking out the window. Mr. Knowitall walked in and said "Cobra brough it here in Another Story." Most rabbits there rushed to the computer in hopes of reaching Jazz 2's homecooked levels, after all, it is ONLY the second most downloaded level pack on J2O. Mr. Knowitall resumed "No, no! Not that Another Story, "To the North!" in the War Tavern. With that, he vanished. Unknown Rabbit, playing Space Invaders with coins he had found in the leather couch, was one of the only to know what that meant as HE read messages and topics on the JCF.



Now for some random occurances!

Skitch ate a Dopefish.

Tubbs got off of the bar and started tap dancing on Kovu's head.

The dead girl, Kiku, clapped for somebody, won't tell you who.

(I'm PRETTY sure she is dead.)

Dead? *mad* And I can talk to people who are alive?



Hmmmm, I didn't know this was Star Wars...

I though you said you were dead?

BTW, I made that so choppy because I was late for rehearsals. Well, back to seeing what is new!

Oh my gosh! Kiku! Thats not you, is it? But your dead! But--I can see you! gasp! But that means--



Figger it out. Where are we? Oh. Well, its still someone elses turn, I just wrote a novel.

`Ducky

Kovu moved a little, and Tubbs fell to the floor. "Oof! Wow that was fun!" He said. "I didn't think so." Kovu replied. "Hey, have y'all played my noo gaem? *Hic!*" Skitch asked. He was drunk. "No." Kazooie answered him. "Oh. Well datsh probably becauze it'sh not out yet. *Hic!* It'sh fun though." "Well, how do you know if it's fun, if it's not out yet???" "Becauze, I'm in it!" Skitch grabbed a highly achoholic beverage off the counter, and chugged in in 2 gulps. Then his head fell to the counter and he was out like a light. "Wow, I didn't know that drink could be chugged that fast!" Bluez said. Suddenly a large brick fell from above. It landed on the Tubbs, and knocked him to the floor. Everybody looked up and saw......

ANTI-TUBBS! Tubbs, out like a light, did not notice one bit. Hey, wouldn't YOU be out like a light if a BRICK fell on your head? Kiku, whose very existence is not proved in either way, looked on calmly. ANTI-TUBBS proceeded to throw bricks in every direction until the Tavern was covered with bricks. ANTI-TUBBS then proceeded to superglue the brick together. "Ha! Now Nobody can get in or out!" How little did he know just how right he was. Before he could continue with his evil ANTI-TUBBS plan however, a Newbie walked up and accidently shot his head off. "Oops!"

To be continued in the next installment...... By someone else.......

I'M not a Newbie.



Copper was grouching because one of the Amazing Flying Bricks had spilled her drink. The ANTI-TUBBSTHINGY went flying because a - a -a big tornado came down and sucked it up! And then when it was allowed out it was too dizzy to continue ANTI-TUBBSING.

Suddenly, as if from no where, a blade came whizzing out from under one of the tables and sunk into the back of FreeLancie's skull. Alantriam contiuned to glare at him, then realized there was a knife in his head.

"MY HALF!! HE'S DEAD!!!" he screamed, clutching his metal spiney hair. Blood dripped down poor Lancie's body and ran to the floor. "Nobody move!" yelled Tubbs. "In the murder movies, I've seen murders! Nobody leaves!"

"FreeLance and I had the same shoe size, and he had promised me that if he got whacked I could have his boots. They were rubber, you know, real expensive... but they're pretty much ruined now. It's so sad..." said Kovu.

"He was my FRIEND!" wailed Ducky on Blackie's shouler, who was also wailing on hers.

Suspects:

Tubbs: He seems to like murders.

Unknown Rabbit: Freelance was hunting him down.

Kovu: He wanted Freelance's boots.

Alantrium: No reason yet found except he's the logical suspect.

Everyone else in the Tavern at the time: Oppurtunity.



Culprit: Dethman! He's killing off the JCF, one user by another user!

*Dethman walks in, throws out the detective and leaves*



P.S. They couldn't leave anyway, the Tavern is covered in superglued bricks!

Cobra said that I am not actually dead, but I can simply be in another dimension (the 4th). That way I can come back any time I want to. That gives me an advantage.



Never mind. I was paying too little attention. Forget it.



Let the ruthless ones fight. They'll win anyway.



_________________

Tubbs loves dangerous activities. He jumps out windows, falls off cliffs, hangs upside down from trees, and likes skydiving.



This message has still not, and will never be, edited by FreeLance 57...