I think they're called "Choppers".

Oh, and WHY to you want THEM?????????

Forget it also. I neglected to read the fine print.



Let the ruthless ones fight. They'll win anyway.

_________________

Tanpopo Kiku, Empress of the Nerds, is mad all the time. That's not very cool, is it?

Um...I want to scream at you. Everyone. Including Alantrium.

"I did it," said Unknown Rabbit, "I'm a creature of habit, I klled Freelance 57."

*Everyone except Freelance looks at Unknown Rabbit.* "Um.... April Fool?"



P.S. An AWARD to who can guess where I got the first line from.

Leave the fighting to the ruthless ones. They'll win anyway.



And, I thought I saw FreeLance in the 4th dimension! He must be special, cause only special folks go there when they die.

HAH! I guess who forgot to claim the third page!!! Nyahahaa.

Chill :P It was actually Alantriam who got knifed, and he's a bot so it don't matter :P

`Ducky

Oh come on! You give us our best plot since Cobra and Blacksheep were dying their hair and you say it was just a ROBOT?!!?!?!?

SAV TEH DUKKY (With backward Ks) from my wrath if you can! MWAHA!

If I did see Freelance 57 in the 4th dimension then I am going to yell at him. No one else has been in the 4th dimension before.



Robots do not feel pain. At least I don't think so.

Poor Lancetto. Sob.

`Ducky

But Lancie is still alive if I saw him in the 4th dimension.



People who go to the 4th dimension, ALSO called the Shadow Realm, are under MY control. Ha ha!



He'll seek revenge....

"Gasp! Who would DO such a thing?" said CT, wrenching her paws. A knife suddenly struck her back with a long scream she fell on the floor.

(we know what Blackies been reading :P)



I gasped. (what was there to do?) My favorite table, the one with the cherry finsih was being bled all over. Not to mention CT was rapidly dying. She wheezed out some probably very sentimental last words and everyone else was froze with horror.

Who would be the next to go?



Bumbum duh duh duuuuun.

`Ducky

~~~

"I owe it to FL to knab the killer!" said 'Triam gravely. Claw started to cry, which was rather un-Claw-like. Tubbs cast suspicious looks at EVERYONE.

"SpooF!" screamed Dreamie, who had materialized from nowhere.

"Suspicious!!!" thought Tubbsy.

"yAy!" thought Blackie

"A customer!" thought Ducky.

"I wonder if she'd lend me a tissue" thought Claw.

"I hope SHE'll give me some boots." Kovey thought.

~~~

Suspicious? Wot? Havn't you seen someone SpooF before? ;P

No tissues, but paper towels you can have! Waah, i miss Lancie. ;_;

Hmm... I have no idea what's going on here :P



---

Talec walks in, very confused.

"Okay... Where am I, and what's Going On Here??"



---

Suddenly a drunken (as always ) BBoy leaped up from the floor. "THE BUTLER!!!" He cried out. "BBoy, we're in a tavern! There are no butlers here!" Ducky replied. "Oh, darn.

"Curse you, Alantrium!" screamed Kiku. She wanted to kick him.



"Walking pile of bolts," said Melissa. She finished her soda, refilled the cup, and threw the contents at someone. (I'm going to assume that that was Alantrium who got soaked)



Someone with a knife approached Kiku. "I've been waiting for this, Kiku." He stuck the knife in Kiku and it went right through her, so did the figure's hand and arm...the guy (Alantrium, I suspect) jumped back and stared.



"Whasamatter you?" shouted Kiku, turning on her chair. "I'm a ghost, silly. You think you can kill a ghost?"



~~~



"Where's Alantrium?" demanded Tubbs. "I am going to dismantle him and throw him into Heck. And who wrote the part about him killin' Lancie?"



Kiku pointed at a black sheep and smiled cruelly....and then she vanished.



~~~



"Lancie was wondering," said Kiku a few minutes later, "where he was."



"You're CRAZY," Tubbs cried.



"No, I swear! I saw him in the 4th Dimension!"



"Well," said Melissa, "I think I saw him myself."



"GHOSTS!" shouted Tubbs. "I hate the thought of them!"



Ducky and BlackSheep* looked at Tubbs and shook their heads.



"What is he talking about?"



"He's crazy."



"Will you just STOP talking about nonsense?" shouted Melissa. She smacked Tubbs and cried, "You are causing the whole tavern to go crazy!"



"I am going to kill you, Alantrium," said a voice.



It was a ghost....

BBoy jumped up. "I know who the murderer is!!!" "Who?" "Ducky!!!" "I am not!" Ducky yelled. "Oh. Then it was Kovu!!! No, not him. It was..." BBoy was suddenly stabbed through the chest with a knife which was thrown at him. "Ouch." He said just before he fell to the floor.

"Eek, it's getting dangerous in here. I'll watch from a distance," said Talec nervously as he slowly backed away from the Tavern.

I say it is Hank! He's evil and a bounty hunter!



Talec nervously backed up, and backed up, and backed up, and fell down the cellar stairs. There he saw two things. Beer, and Beauman (Don't remember all the Asci characters) sellinng guns and knives for cheap prices. Talec, after chugging a barrel of beer, walked up to Beauman and asked if he had sold any knives lately. "Why sure! I just sold a bunch to some fellow down here, seemed slightly suspicious but hey, cash is cash, right? The name was" Before Beauman could continue he was stabbed through the back with a small knife. Looking at the knife Talec saw a small "Beauman" sticker on it. "Aha! I have found the maker of the murdering knives!" Talec walked up to the rest of the Tavern to tell the rest, tripping over a dead body and falling onto a bunch of knives, points up. "AHHHHH!!!!' screamed Ducky, upon seeing Talec suddenly reappear and die. Walking over to him, she asked who had done it. "It.... Was.... Beauman...." He slumped to the floor. Meanwhile, Tubbs was walking slowly towards Blacksheep* with the air of a gun fighter. Blacksheep was backing away, trying to get into the "To the North" story where nobody got killed (not Nobody, nobody.) and she wasn't in trouble with Tubbs. Unknown Rabbit, meanwhile, had went home for some saftey.

Fortunately I was mostly ruled out, except in the eyes of the most suspicious. After all, why would I of killed someone, knowingthat she would wreck my best and favorite table?

I was still heartbroken. That was the only one that had been professionaly made and finished. Sob. I wiped away tears as I pondered this bit of information. The Titans outside had fallen asleep after their vats of liquor had emptied so no one had to worry about them anymore. They would sleep for seasons. But now there was blood stains everywhere. I implored with Blackie to do something to stop the killings, she ignored me mostly. I was at my wits end. I didn't want anyone to DIE! That was too scary! All I wanted was a drink.



I poured one for myself, not caring what it was. I lifted it to my mouth, but a knife whizzed out of nowhere, shattering the glass. I closed my eyes, putting my paw on my face.



Hmm.

OKay, well....

`Ducky

From where Ducky sat drinking her drink, there was a perfect view from under one of the tables. Suddenly, a knife came whizzing out of nowhere...

What has Blacksheep* been reading?



"Wait a minute," said Mr. Continuity, Mr. Knowitall's brother. "How did That Guy leave the War Tavern? ANTI-TUBBS said that nobody could get in or out because of all the bricks!" After making this brilliant deduction, Mr. Continuity walked around the Tavern, thinking, walking, walking into the knife thrown at Ducky... (You all know what happend next, the tears, the broom, the angry Ducky...) After all that had happened, a Rabbit got out from under the bar, where he had been hiding. 'You are right! I am the real Unknown Rabbit, the one who left was Nobody in disguise!"



(In deep narrator voice

And there was much crying, for now the still living creatures knew that Nobody couldn't kill them. And that Nobody wouldn't kill them. etc...



"Why don't we listen to some music?" asked Blacksheep*, cowering under a table. "Good idea," said Tubbs, turning on the radio. <>We interrupt this program. The mad turtle, Devan Shell, has escaped custody. He was last seen heading in the general direction of the War Tave<> Tubbs quickly turned it off. "Devan Shell is the murderer! But where is he?" Slowly, one of the creatures there started pulling off a mask...

Suddenly the toilet-door opens and a tired duck walks out.

"Geez! You wabbits sure have smelly droppings. Ugh! Lemme tell ya, one time when i was in...

Whoops! A suspicious moment. Maybe i'll just stay quiet." said Hank and sat down.

I swear I saw FreeLance in the Shadow Realm.

But why is everyone trying to kill each other?



Tubbs is unable to post right now so I'll post his story.



~~~**~~~



FreeLance 57 woke up and shouted, "Hey, what happened here?"



"You don't know who I am?"



Oh no. Kiku again. He had been trying to get rid of her--but it was no use. Now he was in the 4th Dimension.



"Alantriam is not going to get in here. He's not organic," Kiku stated.



Freelance was upset and shouted, "How come I didn't die like any other person?!"



No answer.



"Well?"



~~~



Back in the Tavern, two ghosts walked through the door.



"NO! I HATE GHOSTS!!!! HELP!" shouted Alantriam.



"What the heck are you squacking about?" said Tubbs. "You sound stupid."



Ducky complained, "I already said that we shouldn't have let robots in here. All they do is scream at--who knows what."



No, but there were two ghosts.



"I am going to get my revenge, on my other half," sneered Freelance.



"That's not the first time," Kiku said. "My other half killed me also."



"WILL YOU STOP, FOR THE LAST TIME, MAKING SUCH A RACKET?!" yelled Ducky. "We're trying to meditate!"

If someone doesn't make someone pull off a mask I will just make it be Blacksheep* who seems to have thought up the whole plot in the first place. Bloodthirsty Blacksheep*! Bloodthirsty Blacksheep*!

BBoy jumped to his feet even though he was supposed to be dead. He was to drunk to remember that he died. "Wow, I must've had too much beer. *Hic!* I think I'm seeing a bat with the head of a turtle!" "That's no bat. Batty Buddy was REALLY Devan in disguise! He's the murderer!" [Insert name here] said. Devan Bolted for the door, but found that he couldn't leave, 'cause of all the bricks. "Blast!" He said. Then the REAL Batty Buddy flew in through the hole in the ceilene that Tubbs had made. "Hey guys, what's up?" Devan threw a knife at him.

Well, I obviously did not kill Lancie. It's BlackSheep's fault, really.



And now what?



Tubbs isn't that violent, just to let you know.

Hank probably had it right, staying in the bathroom all the time. I scuttled behind the counter in a nervous state as the knife that almost peirced Batty's wing thudded in between some cups on my glass racks. Shoving aside some small barrels of Dark Ale, I crouched. Lulled by the soft zing of knives whizzing overhead, and the sweet smell of the Ale, I soon dozed off.



As Ducky crept behind her counter, Batty indignantly flapped his wings. "I say, Dev old chap, tryin' to knock off a chap's flippin' wings isn't good manners, doncha know--" His interesting attempt at Hare speech was cut short as he realized who exactly he was quarreling with. He kamikazed towards the Empress and she leapt away. They cowered beneath a table. Cobra and BlackSheep seemed oblivious to their surroundings, having discovered a half full bottle of Dandelion Whisky. Strong stuff, that. They were playing an odd drinking game over their table in a very bright corner. Blackie's hair had come undone, all over her face which resembled Cobra's, whose face matched her hair. They chanted loudly. Devan turned towards them, obviously annoyed. "SHUT UP!" He bellowed. Cobra and Blackie looked at him, and erupted into tempests of laughter. They appeared to be suffocating, collapsing into their collapsible chairs. Kovu, not quite as over-the-edge as them, dodged a chair and a random knife. There wasn't anywhere safe! He sought refuge in a half empty bottle of pickles beside the bar.

`Ducky

The evil knife throwing chap dumped Slippery-Floor Potion on the floor of the Tavern, and signalled for his legions to continue throwing. One struck Batty's wing, and one sliced through Blackie's ear. Another drove into Tubbs' foot.

All these knives flingin' around remind me of the flying swords in Jazz1



Bloodthirsty Blacksheep*? I'd say bloodthirsty Unknown Rabbit, killing off my character like that! Shame on you! ('sides, I don't drink beer o_O)

If you're going to mess with Talec, well... Muahahaha!



------

Since they are all merely cartoon characters, everyone who was previously dead came back

------



Handy, eh? Have a little monkey wrench in everyone's plans

I will seek my revenge on various people.



Being dead, I am never scared of knives or guns.



People cannot kill me anymore, because I am dead. They could try to stab me but nothing will happen.



Melissa is terribly angry. She came back with a small dagger.

I'm back from Conneticut!!!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You read the monkys' paw, Talec? It gave me this idea...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Unluckily for Freelance, Coppertop, BBoy, Beauman and Talec, who had come back to life being merely cartoon characters, they still had knife holes in them. Therefore, they all died again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Don't glare, that just happened!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Devan threw another knife, straight at a random direction. The knife flew straight into a row of cups, breaking them like dominoes. Unknown Rabbit stuck his head out from under the table: "You know, I've heard of bar-room brawls but..." Everyone who wasn't fighting Devan told That Guy to shut up. Ducky, taking a break from bing crammed between the counter and a pickle that Claw had been looking for, thought of a plan to get rid of Devan Shell. "Hey Devan! Blacksheep* kidnapped Shellion and left him in the north with only a blanket and a stuffed turtle!" Devan stopped throwing knives and looked at the counter. "What? My brother? This means an, expedition to the north!" So saying, Devan ran into a wall, knocking himself out. Kovu looked out of his jar. "Great work Ducky, how did you know that would happen?" "Ummm..... It is the War Tavern, right?" There being no denials they all threw Devan out the hole in the roof and went back to drinking beer. The dead bodies laying around were forgotten.

Until the sprinkler system kicked in. Although there was no sign of fire, the roof began to drench everyone. The people who had been killed stirred. They looked around, blinking, looking at the collapsible knives lying next to them. "Ha ha, get this, Alantriam!" Lancielot picked a knife up and hurled it at Unknown. "Look!Its collapsible!"

Someone ordered a round of drinks on the house, but I'd be darned if they ever paid for it. I poured myself a calm iced strawberry sherry to congratulate myself for the insight I showed.

The 'Tavern relaxed, happily drinking beer and burbling to each other. Cobra had gone unconsious and now Kovu and BlackSheep had emptied their bottle of their whisky, and where singing Beethoven's 9th in a 'round' fashion. Where did they ever learn the words, I wondered, reading the label on the bottle. I took my glass of sherry and poured them each a martini. Turning the waiting over to NightFire I joined them at their table, pulled Cobra up onto a chair beside me. Blackie swigged her martini in a most unladylike way and giggled while brandishing a large hammer at my table. I gently took it away from her, but I think the fumes were getting to me, and I was still groggy from my short nap under the counter. I leaned over onto Kovu, who seemed to be experiencing the affects of his whisky in a more calm manner after his debut with Beethoven and his martini. I sagged lower and fell asleep on Kovu's shoulder usingBlackie as a footrest, watching Kiku and her fam dipping chocolate onto their fortune cookies from their refilled fondu pot.



`Ducky

Collapsible knives? Soaked in ketch-up I suppose... Oh and Ducky? You look cute on top of Kovu and Blacksheep. But enough of that. Recap time, for all of you who came in late!





A bunch of titans come to the War Tavern and cause a ruckus. Meanwhile, a group of creatures go to a weird evil castle. They all reappear at the War Tavern eventually, including Alantrium who uses a trap-door. After this, loads of people are killed but it all gets cleared up in the two posts before this.



Did I forget anything besides the BB/Kazooie race?







BBoy, who had ben thought to be *dead* srunk got up from the floor, a mug of beer that nobunny (Not Nobody) had paid for. "Everything seems to have been taken care of except the bricks around the Tavern! ANTI-TUBBS said nobody could get in or out!" Blacksheep, her voice slightly muffled by Ducky, said "He didn't say if anyone else could though?" After that much experimenting ensued and it was found that anybody, as well as Nobody, could walk straight through the bricks. Now all they needed was a new plot.............................................. ..........





Suddenly Talec was warped to "Plotline Hotline"!

*gasp* I've been KILLED!



Hmm, I've never been killed before. . .weird.

Listen to this, guys...I am not dead anymore. So stop picking on me for saying that I'm dead.

How can you not be dead anymore?

No one's dead anymore. They were collapsible knives, and Kiku left her Realm.

So Nyah.

And thank you, Unknown.

`Ducky