Explanation for all the unexplained stuff:

One of the ghosts was Tanpopo Kiku who has come back to life anyway. The other two were both Freelance 57 who wasn't dead so it was some weird optical illusion thing. Either that or mass hypnotism...... The knives were collapsible because they were thrown by an actor in a Devan Shell costume that was in a Batty Buddy costume. The knives that actually went through creatures were the same weird optical illusion or mass hypnotism. There was a actor playing Devan playing BB in the first place because........... Because Nobody wanted a new gag as the Rubber Chicken was getting old.



Marvel Comics? Do I get a No-Prize?



[whisper]But I don't know ow Freelance got into the 4th dimension.[/whisper]

If you had been reading my STORY you would have known earlier. Nya nya, shows that I'm not the only one who's not in touch.

Nobody's getting tired of squirting Rubber Chicken goo on everybody? I thought I'd never see the day...

j/k,

Known what earlier?

Nya nya. IF you had been paying more attention to details, and especially if you had been reading my story, (The Dark Lepus) you would have known that....



I'm not DEAD ANYMORE, YOU BUNCH OF MONKEYS!!!



But since you didn't notice that soon enough, I'm just as well off in the 4th Dimension, aka The Shadow Realm! Woo hooo...If I return there I get to freeze you in Time again! Should I go back and be dead?



*stops laughing* If you want something interesting, please go and ask Tubbs, who I thought was tap-dancing in the Tavern.

**throws the rubber chicken to CT**



*Black

CT fell off the table trying to catch the chicken, squashing Kovu who awoke with a start and I fell over, startled, kicking Blackie in the head. "Hey!" She said, indignantly.

`Ducky

CT catches the chicken, but squeezes a bit too hard, and rubber chicken goo squirts out and hits Bluez, who was just walking by, in the face.

Ah...so we heard you, Kiku, but alas! no one bothered to listen to you. I am the one, and only, person who knows who you are! And I'm also the only one who cares!



What's this about rubber chickens? All I do with them is smack Melissa. No, I'm not that mean... I'd rather smack someone else.

Lol, Timothy

Are you a fluffy cat?



The chaos eased. I removed myself from the floor and resumed my place pouring drinks.I gave a pale lettuce chardonnay in a frosted glass to a cat who came in quietly and sat with Kiku and her small clan at their fondu, nodding to me courteously.

BlackSheep turned the jukebox on, offering her paw to a pale green rabbit that matched the color of my chardonnay, except he wasn't clear. I sat down and rubbed at a glass, reminscising(sp?) over spiffy action movies I had seen. Slayer and Lancie pondered over a large map of the heavens in one of the corners, and sipped at tall tankards of what seemed to be filled with the foam off the top of root beer.

Cobra and Turbo[who is not in this story] burbled on in another dark corner, and I leaned so far back on my stool I almost fell over, just managing to wahck into Night Fire as he stared dreamily out a window.

The rest of the contents of the 'Tavern slowly filtered in and out, mostly sitting at tables with drinks in front of them, chattering away. The night was still young, I swiped at my face with the towel I still clutched, leaning against Night Fire. Kovu played solitaire in a dark corner, a dim lanters flickering above him.



Sigh. All so nostalgic. Something MUST happen.

`Ducky

Cobra, also reminicing, brought out a guitar and strummed it mournfully, remembering her adventures with some of the other inhabatents of the WT who were now gone. Quickly, the other Taverners around her screamed and hurled random objects at her. She'd forgotten that she couldn't play the guitar. Quickly, she brought out a twisted gothic black harp, but that was wrenched out of her arms and immediatly stomped on.

Ordering a tall glass of Loganberry wine, she sat and sipped it, waiting for a plot hole to open, for turtles to invade, or for at least a dance to start. Maybe there'd even be battles over who should dance with whom.

Leaning back in her chair, she wished for the days of old, when action lurked behind every corner, and when there was never a dull moment.

But the doors suddenly burst open...

I am not fluffy. If you were hoping that I was fluffy then you're asking the wrong person. Sorry, BlckSheep.

Talec was totally stunned. Rocky Racoon had once told him of the dreaded Plotline Hotline but he had hoped never to be exposed to tis's terrors. THe announcer was speaking, in some weird language, maybe dutch. (If Talec understands Dutch, would he please tell me so I can edit this?) Talec finally understood he would not be able to get out of here until he had selected a plot. He grabbed a random one and threw it into a Plot-o-matic machine. It made a weird sound that sounded much like "A plot! At last! yAy!" and exploded. Talec was totally sure what the purpose of the explosion was but he went back to the War Tavern happily, now that he no longer had to worry about lip stic wearing plots. Back at Plotline Hotline, the annuncer was reading the plot. (Transalated from the weird language) "The door bursts open and the Titans come back in. They steal the roof, sell it on E-bay, use the money to buy a lot of Addie plushies. ADI the battler appears and sues Admael and she has to do lots of weird stuff do get the money. Once she has enough cash she remembers she is a mage. Further bulletins as events warrent."



At the War Tavern, Talec reappeared... In a pickle jar. Leaning back in her chair, CT wished for the days of old, when action lurked behind every corner, and when there was never a dull moment. But the doors suddenly burst open...

Some convenient little smoky-steamie things shot up to look impressive. The martini I was pouring overflowed. A dark figure came through the mistiness, came swirling..he looked familiar. But there was no way it could be Darth Vader. And besides he wasn't breathing like that. He stepped in, gently almost, looking around. He was dark grey colored.

I heard a siren.













`Ducky

Suddenly the siren noise stopped, and in burst 3 policerabbits. They grabbed the dark figure, and said, "Alright, you're going to jail!" "Why?" The figure asked. "Uhh... Because you're underage to be in a tavern. Espescially a War Tavern." The policerabbit replied. "I'm 170 years old." The dark figure said. "Oh. Uhh... Okay then. Good bye." The policerabbits left. Suddenly there was a flash of light, and the figure was gone! In it's place was a 170 year old frog. He hopped onto the counter. "I'd like a Fly-Martini. Ducky got him one, and then asked, "So, what's your name?" "Merburt." The Frog answered. "Merburt? Huh. So are you really 170 years old?" "Yes." "Wow! That's amazing." "Well, that's what happens when you live off of fly all your life.....I think." Suddenly a large purple and white bird flew threw the open window. The frog gasped and hopped behind the counter. In a whispered voice he said, "It's Cleever!!!"

Que Passa!!!!



Batty pulled several of the knives out of his wings, muttered something about being used as a pin cushion and looked at the purple and white bird. "Hmmm... Doesn't look too clever to me."

"NOT clever, ClEEver!" said the frog.

Suddenly the police car came back. One of the rabbits hopped out and said. "Well, folks, Sorry but looks like your trapped here. A bunch of inch-high blue people with white pants and hats have surrounded the building." "Smurfs?" asked Bboy. "Nah, Smurfs don't have glowing red eyes and fangs." Everyone looked at Batty. "Hey, I don't know of anyone with glowing red eyes and fangs except me." he said defencivly.

The frog gulped "Oh no... Cleever brought his herd of vampire Smurfs with him again..."

Cobra spit out the wine she was drinking and proclaimed "VAMPIRE SMURFS? Ok, I wanted action, but this is too weird!"



~KarateCobra

Cobra dove for a hiding place--the closet was the nearest door. When she opened it, a body, swinging from a rope, swung towards her. She screamed as a green and pin striped sock limply dangled in her face. It was BBoy. NF helped to take him down. Everyone looked at the rope marks on his neck. A last request for BBoy? I tell ya, some of these serial killers have no class...

Who could the killer be? There's Kove, he might just be trying move in on BBoy's leather shoes before we find out that they wear the same size... after missing out on Lancie's rubber boots, he could really use a new set. And then there's Kiki, who seems to be very appreciative of the fact that there isn't a noose in Carrotus big enough to fit over her head... Then there's me, 'cause I'm writing it all. Oh, and everyone else because we all know that deep down, everyone hates everyone else



*Black

** CRASH ** - There's a sudden clamor that appears to have come from the Kitchen. Cobra has been found beneath a vast pile of cookware Was it an accident... or was it murder? Did two-hundred pounds of kitchen utensils just "accidentally" fall on her head... or are forces more sinister than mere bad luck to be blamed?

A voice from beneath the junk in the kitchen proclaims, "It's my shoes. They make it hard to walk, darned five inch heels."

Meanwhile, at Plotline Hotline, a slight problem has been found. The machine is not working, and did not set the plot in action. Naturally, this means the War Taverners need a new one, but they seem to have found two of them on their own. Say Blacksheep, why are you so interested in killing everybody? Just wondering...

Stop calling me Kiki, for once, BlkSheep. And, I already have a noose around my neck; Feel free to tighten it. Or else I will as Timothy Hyperion Purr, my best friend in this hostile world, to do so...>:[





Why did the stuff fall on Cobra? And how did she somehow survive? And what could happen next...because of BlkSheep's treachery?



Tubbs, who is a trained assassin, watches BlakSheep from behind a counter. Something is wrong; Tubbs isn't even an organic rabbit! Is he really some kind of robot...? But how could he be one? He looks deceptively like a rabbit, but he still could be an android...

I wept. There was too much death. No one stopped it. I flung my self into the night and staggered away, never seen again until later.



She tried to help Cobra up. Don't know who she was, but BlackSheep saw her.



Someone randomly shoved Kiki. A fallen angel.

I saw a shadow touch a shadows hand..and the leaves that are green turned to brown. And they withered with the wind, and they crumbled in your hand.



Inside there is laughter. The lights are brightening, and the soft rain falls on the roof and the young grass.



`Ducky

Sniff. Sniffle. *Cries*

What he said. *sob* Don't kill me off, I implore you, PLEEEEAAAASSSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahh gee, don't ya just hate it when ya die??? But death can't stop me from adding on to this story!!! HA!



********



Suddenly, the door burst open, and a black-clothed old gangster with a tommy-gun in his hand walked in. He started shooting, "RATTA-TAT-ATATATA-TATATATA!!!!" Bullets went everywhere. Everyone in the tavern dived behind something. Glasses, some full, some empty, shattered. Chairs broke. Bottle pieces went everywhere. Even a box with a sign on it which read, "Sav teh dukky fund" (With backwards k's) got five holes in it. "I'll kill ya all!!!" The ganster said. Suddenly BBoy jumped up from the floor, and flexed the muscles he wished he had. "BBoy, you're dead!" Ducky said. "Oh... I am? Okay." He said, before falling on the floor. "What're you mad about?" Ducky asked the ganster. "You guys are hiding a frog in here. I know it! I'm gonna kill that frog, and anyone who tries to prevent it dies too!" "Oh, are you Clever?" Batty asked. "CLEEVER!!! Not Clever. And yes I am. What of it?" Suddenly a titan walked up behind the ganster and picked him up by the neck saying...

Que Passa!!!!



"I know what you're thinking: Did you fire all 602 rounds on that tommygun, or just 601? Well, quite frankly, I lost track myself. But you gotta ask yourself one thing: Do I feel lucky?" He hit the edge off his cigar. "Well... Do ya, PUNK?"

Just then the door shot open and cheery singing filled the room. "La, Laa, lalalalaaaa, vant to suck your bloood..."

"VAMPIRE SMURFS!!" screamed the frog, jumping behind the bar.

Suddenly, Batty Buddy had an idea... Uh oh.

"Bboy- quick: hand me a couple dozen shot glasses."

"I'm supposed to be dead. Besides-This is hardly the time to think about getting drunk again."

"Trust me, I'm not getting drunk. Just give me EMPTY shot glasses."

"Oh, I get what your saying." he said handing him a few...



_________________

"I seem to be the vary personafication of the rage to live- hit me, dunk me, insult me, I'll still hang in there.



-I wonder why."

-Howard the Duck



(RIP William Hanna)

The vampyre stuffed the shot glasses in his mouth..



CRUNCH CRUCNH CRUNNNCH.

Okay, that was just like the freakiest thing I ever saw..

(Post by Kiku)



I was once a fallen angel...now I am the leader of the Shadow Realm. People control my destiny. Not myself.



"BlackSheep," Tubbs was shouting, "What the heck are you doing!?" Something was sticking out of his mouth. Teeth? Fangs?!



She turned, and I saw her expression. "Shut up, Tubbs. You're the only one I haven't killed yet..."



Something fell on Tubbs, who shouted again. Dishes? Cups? Melissa screamed at him, as usual.



Vampires. Bloody vampires.



Who was a vampire in this shadowy tavern? Was even my own dear friend, Timothy Hyperion Purr, a vampire? Because of someone's treachery?



I simply stared and watched, from my dark corner in the 4th Dimension, unwilling to help even my own companions...



Kiki, my treacherous clone created by a rabbit named Ducky, pointed a bony finger at Tubbs and laughed bitterly. Was it because someone else died?



The little jewel around my neck was glowing red. Could that have really meant that my friend (T.H.P) was gone? It had been made so that I would know when people died...

"Let the reader beware". No, honest! It seems every post lately has used a little of the last one and scrapped the rest! You may all not care about this, but I do. Naturally, I have no say in this. *Cries* Anyway, I may post a continuation when I have any idea which one of the 4? 5? 6? plots is being used here. Let the reader beware, and the writer be wary.

I gasped. The blame was being put on me, who was cast out of my own 'Tavern because of the cruelty. It was Blizzard. I never cloned.

Blizzard said Kiki!

So it was, that I fled. Taking with me only my VCR and video collection, and my penguin Chatters, I poured myself a cup of coffee.



Truly, it was the freakiest thing.

`Ducky

Freaky enough for me. It had to have been Ducky who created Kiki to haunt the Tavern.



Treachery? I think so.

But who really was to blame? The cloner or the cloned? Surely, the murderer must be found, lest the wartavern once again become desolate.

A purple rabbit scurried out of a window. Nobunny knew him and nobunny cared too. He wanted to get away to safety, as Ducky had obviously had the right idea.

Treachery indeed, thought a wayward Log, sitting at the dark end of the counter.



Outside on a tree limb, a cheshire cat yowled.





`Ducky

"Wh00! I'm fffffaaaamous!!!"

chaos of multiple plots was creating quite a mess in the tavern. for some reason, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ was still lying on the ground with some collapsable knife stuck in him, which was from his own store (for only $9.99 a piece too!). then, all of a sudden, a large burp was heard, but, that wasn't the climax, but it twas a plot hole that opened up. then, with a blinding light, stopping the non-sense for a bit, out popped a rabbit of platinum, platinum fur, that is, clad in inscibed robes of black and various techno gear, was the REAL BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. since, for some reason,the real BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ just disapeared some day, but now, he was back. now that everyone saw it was only BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, and not some extraterrestial being, they went back to thier chaos of vampire smurfs and murderer's.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ decided to pick up the droid he left to pose as himself, and turned him back on, since for some reason, the katchup drained his energy. So, he put the robot back to work and sat down at the bar, wondering wat happened to the bartender. then, he decided to use the infamous plot hole to teleport the bartender back behind the counter. thus, ducky appeared...

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: eh? when did u become barwench...i mean, ummmm, bartender?

Ducky: wat? barwench?!?! how.... n/m, it's the wartavern... watcha want?

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: i'd like just some rootbeer for now... not in the mood for alchohal...

*ducky hand's BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ a frothy rootbeer*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: thank ya... so wat's new?

*so ducky and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ just talk about the recent turn of events*

all of a sudden a plot hole escapes out of BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's pocket without his knowing, floating(or watever plot holes do) to the middle of the room, it starts to clean up the mess of plots, and then something starts to emerge from the plot hole, to thicken the plot further...

=====================================

heh, so i make a comeback with a wannabe post of the wartavern... so sue me, i'm back



_________________

The Useless rantings of a returned Jazzer...

(goes flying through the door into the War Tavern)





Slam me a grog, barkeep!